Life is not the problem, expectations are

I was thinking about a friend of mine who is so incredibly talented and creative, but has yet to focus on the right things.  Through this conversation I finally realized, looking back at my life, that every time I struggled to deal with the hand I’d been dealt, it was because my expectations were clashing with reality. I had created a picture in my head of how life should be and when things didn’t turn out, I didn’t cope.

It wasn’t life that was the problem; it was my unrealistic expectations. This is not to say that you should not set big bold hairy goals. I had thought that being idealistic and striving for a goal was a good thing, but it wasn’t leading to a contented and fulfilled life. It is never a straight line, much like creativity the journey is more important than the destination.

The only way to resolve them is to face up to the situation you are actually in and accept it. This does not mean you should not have any expectations but if we want to be content, we need to accept what is occurring during hard times while trusting for something better in the future.

Instead of trying to change the world, change your focus. When we are faced with the challenges of life we are predominantly configured at seeing what is not there versus all of the things that are present.  Do you ever catch yourself in only seeing one side of life?  If you focus on the things you don't have in life you will never have enough - I think I may be channeling my parents a with this last statement.

Understand that being grateful is difficult if you are focus on the wrong things in life. You and only you can discover that and I am by no means dictating what you should or should not do - I am speaking from the wisdom and guidance of multiple influences in my career and life.

No pain no gain, well... Perhaps in certain situations. Embrace the pain and then take control and focus. Embrace the entire experience, both the good parts and the gaps.  We have the ability to choose a more empowering set of beliefs and meaning for what was happening to you. This will allow you to discover new possibilities that may have been elusive before.

The irony about accepting the situations we find ourselves in is that once we have, we are able to make decisions and take action that moves us toward the place we truly want to be. We stop feeling like a victim of circumstance and more like we own our destiny.